A friend and I are at a party in a strange part of town. Not knowing how to get home from there, we hail a taxi.
Imagine our delight when we discover the taxi is being driven by none other than Giorgio A. Tsoukalos!
He talks just like he does on teevee, with the odd syntax and garbly pronunciation, but as my friend and I sit in the back seat, any attempts to charm him with our knowledge of aliens fall on hostile ears. Tsoukalos, it would seem, does not wish to be recognized.
Nonetheless I give him my address and he proceeds to drive. He asks if we mind if he stops for a pizza first, and although his question is polite, we realize he’s not really asking. He’s GOING to stop for that pizza. He leaves us in the car for quite a while, with the meter running. We don’t even care, though. Tsoukalos will return, we are sure of it.
He does so. He puts the pizza on the front passenger seat and begins eating. It smells good, but he does not offer us any.
We get back on the road and I start giving him directions when the neighborhood looks more familiar. At some point I realize I’ve given him the wrong address, and we are headed in the wrong direction. “Mr. Tsoukalos, I made a mistake. Can you make a U-turn in this CVS parking lot?”
"You know what? Get the fuck out of my car," says Giorgio. My friend and I protest, but he is adamant. "I am not kidding around here, get out of this car before I drag you out."
We get out, he races off, then my friend vanishes.
I am alone in a CVS parking lot where Giorgio A. Tsoukalos has abandoned me, wearing scanty party clothes. Night is falling. Noises can be heard behind the trees and fences.
I am doomed.